Always apply generously
The more the better, eating a whole tube is acceptable behavior
In the case of a tongue spot:
Allow the dollop to rest on the ulceration and then strain the muscles in your tongue, this will make the blighter sting and you know you're onto a winner
Buy yourself a little presentation case and keep your Bonjela in it, preferably with a velvet lining
Give your Bonjela pride of place on the mantle
When decorating, use Bonjela as an emergency replacement for applications such as no more nails and wallpaper paste
When serving Ouzo or Pernod, cover the rim of the glass in a layer of Bonjela
Keep Bonjela on a lanyard round your neck to negate misplacement when out and about
Do try not to bend and flex the tube, this can cause small tears from which Bonjela can escape
If you can afford to, heat a cup full of Bonjela and drink the syrup up. Great for stomach ulcers