Bonjela Is My Friend

There's no shame in purchasing Bonjela for use in your mouth, that's what it is there for after all. If nature intended something else to be used as an oral treatment for bacterial nasties, then nature would have given us "Germolene For Your Mouth". Subsequently this isn't the best way to market an oral treatment, and thus Bonjela was born.

Do you understand what I'm talking about? I'm talking about Bonjela on an unprecedented scale. A cataclysmic, apocalyptic, seismic shockwave of sorts. The kind that you can rub into your gums and smother on your tongues without further ado or embarrassment.

We will win this fight against ulcers, by God we will.

This is Bonjela Smith signing off.

You may as well just buy Bonjela.

Bonjela has been a part of my life for many years now. At school there was a group of us who all shared a strong bond with the magical teething gel of hope. People who like Bonjela tend to find each other and form social groups, you see. This is a fact.

We used to feast on the stuff like kings. I always had a tube on me, and if ever one of my cohorts found themselves wanting I would always let them have a snifter from my bonjela. God forbid if the same thing happened to me I could then depend on them to let me have a snifter of theirs.

It's like this: Once someone has had some Bonjela from your pocket they are in your pocket in terms of owing you a snifter of Bonjela.

On Monday this week having participated in four days drinking and consumed no less than three currys I experienced one of those spots on the end of my tongue that really do tend to irritate. This time around there was no escaping the inexplicable need for an application of the good stuff (Bonjela).

As I watched 'The Mothman Prophecies' whilst lying in bed I squeezed a rather sizable bubble of Bonjela from the tube and licked it off with the affected area of my tongue. I then tensed up my tongue and waited for the rather strange sort of pain that this induces. It hurts so good.

After doing this multiple times my tongue became very numb, thus removing the irritation from the spot. In the morning when I woke up, the spot had gone completely. Another victory for the fast acting gel.

This is the new Bonjela theme tune for the upcoming Bonjela movie, starring Dean Gaffney as Bonny Jay.