Bonjela Is My Friend

Third application today already. I've acquired rather an unpleasant little ulcer on the bottom inside right of my gums. It's quite a long way down the gum and makes my chinny feel like it’s bruised. Nasty little blighter it is. I think I got it from one of two things, either excess eating of Granny Smith's apples or drinking a pint of strawberry Nesquick before bed for three days straight. Whatever the cause of this unjust situation bonjela will relieve me. Of this I am sure.

Now, you may remember some time ago I was telling you all, just a little bit, about how my bonjela has become rather unkempt. Well, yesterday I used a flannel and hot water to give my bonjela a nice and tidy spruce up. The only thing left for me to do is take to the tube, with a pair of pliers, in order to try and straighten out some of the nooks and crannies that have occurred from keeping the bonjela in my pocket. Now you see me, now you don't.

Although you may have heard otherwise, there is no localisation with Bonjela. Anywhere that you care to visit calls Bonjela "Bonjela", not "El Diablo Roja" or "Unite du Pomme Frite". These two phrases, for example, refer to Red Devils and Units of Fried Potato.

Reckitt Benckiser is a worldwide commodity, so don't you dare forget it!

You cannot apply Bonjela to anything other than your mouth.

That includes your bum bum.

My tongue felt rather rough yesterday down the left hand side. As I lay in bed pondering this fact, and watching the Tourettes in France proggy on c4, I decided that I could not be bothered to fetch my bonjela to apply to the problem area of my tongue.
This morning my immune system had worked a wonder and my tongue was healed a veritable treat. I tell you, I am glad I have saved my bonjela for a more serious affliction of the mouth. It would have been wasteful to use it last night considering the outcome this morning. Before I went to bed last night I squeezed a Seven Seas Vitamin C and Zinc pellet between my teeth and over my tongue. I believe this may have helped my immune system last night while it was working away like a beaver in the sunshine. I am a homosapien.

New formula Bonjela!

Made with passion fruit and alchemy secrets.

You can apply it to dalmatians to turn them into alsatians. At no extra cost!!

Thanks Reckitt Benckiser. Theckitt Benckiser.

Boots are now displaying bonjela on the end of isles in a similar way that pubs display Scampi Fries.

Ah silly, took my bonjela out with me over the festive period and the poor blighter got mangled a treat in my pocket. Ah no, bits of hair have stuck on the tube lid and around the rim making it look dirty and uncouth.
It is folded and crumpled and where it has folded the life giver bonjela has escaped its natural home. This is a concern. I must clean my bonjela and flatten out the crumps to make it more presentable. You understand?